Tips on Teaching Good Behavior
By Heidi, mother of 10!
Training starts from birth. A baby needs love, as well as to have his needs met quickly, but he also needs to understand that he is not the king of the world. By that I mean that he needs to be encouraged as early as six months old to ask nicely, to sign “please” and “thank you,” and when he demands something and screams, parents have to show their disapproval with his behavior with their eyes or words. It’s a lot easier for the child to accept discipline when the parents have shown their authority from the beginning. A child’s understanding of and obedience to authority can be further developed through appropriate stories and explaining and enforcing boundaries and consequences.
Develop a good rapport. Make time to talk with your child, even when the child is very young (once he can talk, of course). Your frequent communication with your child tells him that you are interested in him, it shows that you are willing in listening to what he has to say, and it draws you closer together, as through communication you gain a better understanding of one another.
Take time to explain. When you have explained your position on a matter to the child it makes discipline much easier for a child to accept. A child who gets upset and who cries or screams a lot may be a frustrated child who feels that’s the only way he or she can be understood. As much as possible, go slow, and take the time to explain. (This is especially important for young children who may still be learning to articulate themselves, but stands for all children.) This also helps to reinforce the lesson so they remember it, and why you expect them to behave a certain way, rather than just obey in order to avoid punishment.
Consistency is crucial. When making exceptions, it’s good to explain why. If children know that their parents sometimes break or bend some Home rules, they will have a very hard time getting their children to obey. However, there are times when it is better to not be so rigidly stuck on a trivial point to the extent that it shadows what the real issue is that the child is facing.
Catch children doing something good. Encouraging good behavior is as important, if not more important, than disciplining a poor behavior. Keep an eye out for good behavior and tell them, “Gotcha!”
Isolate the behavior. Avoid saying, “You are a bad boy (or girl).” Instead, “What you did was wrong.” (This will help avoid low self-esteem.)
End on a good note. When correcting children always try to bring out the positive at the end of the conversation; end it with a very happy tone like “Oh, I love you so much! You’re my little treasure and I’m so happy to have you!” etc. This cheers children up and reminds them that despite the fact that you corrected them, your love for them hasn’t changed.
Training starts from birth. A baby needs love, as well as to have his needs met quickly, but he also needs to understand that he is not the king of the world. By that I mean that he needs to be encouraged as early as six months old to ask nicely, to sign “please” and “thank you,” and when he demands something and screams, parents have to show their disapproval with his behavior with their eyes or words. It’s a lot easier for the child to accept discipline when the parents have shown their authority from the beginning. A child’s understanding of and obedience to authority can be further developed through appropriate stories and explaining and enforcing boundaries and consequences.
Develop a good rapport. Make time to talk with your child, even when the child is very young (once he can talk, of course). Your frequent communication with your child tells him that you are interested in him, it shows that you are willing in listening to what he has to say, and it draws you closer together, as through communication you gain a better understanding of one another.
Take time to explain. When you have explained your position on a matter to the child it makes discipline much easier for a child to accept. A child who gets upset and who cries or screams a lot may be a frustrated child who feels that’s the only way he or she can be understood. As much as possible, go slow, and take the time to explain. (This is especially important for young children who may still be learning to articulate themselves, but stands for all children.) This also helps to reinforce the lesson so they remember it, and why you expect them to behave a certain way, rather than just obey in order to avoid punishment.
Consistency is crucial. When making exceptions, it’s good to explain why. If children know that their parents sometimes break or bend some Home rules, they will have a very hard time getting their children to obey. However, there are times when it is better to not be so rigidly stuck on a trivial point to the extent that it shadows what the real issue is that the child is facing.
Catch children doing something good. Encouraging good behavior is as important, if not more important, than disciplining a poor behavior. Keep an eye out for good behavior and tell them, “Gotcha!”
Isolate the behavior. Avoid saying, “You are a bad boy (or girl).” Instead, “What you did was wrong.” (This will help avoid low self-esteem.)
End on a good note. When correcting children always try to bring out the positive at the end of the conversation; end it with a very happy tone like “Oh, I love you so much! You’re my little treasure and I’m so happy to have you!” etc. This cheers children up and reminds them that despite the fact that you corrected them, your love for them hasn’t changed.